Dear Abby gives some solicited advice

(April 8, 2014) -- To give you a glimpse of what the real "Dear Abby" is like, two things about Jeanne Phillips:

At a dinner in her honor at Hakkasan on Friday night, hosted by Lisa and John Grotts, a restaurant staffer displayed excitement at meeting the advice columnist. Phillips swiftly interrupted her own conversation with another guest to pose for a picture with her fan. And when talking to Phillips, Dagmar Dolby stumbled over the time element in her description of how long ago Ray Dolby had died (seven months), Phillips, with swift instinct, said, "But it seems like seven minutes, doesn't it?"

Phillips, who took over the advice column from her mother, Abigail Van Buren, was in town to be keynote speaker at Friday's luncheon for Compassion & Choices. The group lobbies for expanding the options around end-of-life issues for the terminally ill, and Phillips is a believer. By evening, though, her speechifying duties were done, and each of the 10 or so guests at the dinner knew this was time off. At the same time, not one of us could resist peppering her with questions about her work.

She has 110 million syndicated readers, she said, and a staff that handles 10,000 letters a week. She also said that she conducts some of her business (questions from a younger audience) by Twitter. But "you can't pour out your soul in 140 characters."

Hearing the problems of people all over the world, of course, necessitates the consideration of differing cultures. "Before I answer a question, I have to be sure that it's culturally perfect, or I can get around the system. ... If you're talking to someone in a patriarchal country, the best I can do is to tell them to talk to a woman in their country."

If the issue is time-sensitive and serious - death, pregnancy, thoughts of suicide, for example - "I call immediately." That's in person. "I say 'Hi, there, this is Dear Abby. How do you feel today? You know, there's help available. Do you want me to call your doctor? There's help for you.' I tell them where they can find help."

"Did you study psychology?" asked someone. "No, but I had plenty of analysis," she said.

Plenty of practice, over the years, too, in talking with people. By the end of the dinner, she was giving out her phone number, inviting any of us with problems to call.

Source: http://www.sfgate.com/default/article/Dear-Abby-gives-some-solicited-advice-5386986.php